Wall Street Journal’s provocatively titled article stirred up such a storm. I got several direct emails and numerous forwards, one of them a comment from Melanie on my blog.
Most of my American friends asked, “Is it true? Did you bring up your kids that way?” For that, I forwarded the piece to my kids, “Did we?” Politely and diplomatically, they forwarded me other Chinese kids’ comments. So we have three sides on on this topic: American parents, Chinese parents, and Chinese kids. It is probably fair to say this is a raw subject that brings up intense emotions from all three sides.
If you are in a game of fierce competition and the outcome requires decades of preparation, what kind of coach do you want? One that you would hate for pushing you to the brink of collapse, or the one that becomes your friend? Well, it depends on how much you care about winning or losing.
It is with amusement that I read the comments from kids’ point of view. Many of them are highly successful yet bitter that they are nothing but trophy kids. They implied that their parents sacrificed their well-being for the trophy status, or, given a choice, they would rather not have those material successes.
But the decision is up to the coaches, not kids. Most Chinese parents do not expect their kids to like those decisions, but knew that they would understand.
Kids would face the same decision if they become parents. It does not matter how they will choose, they will understand the gravity of the choice. And that’s enough for me. Just wait.
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